noknees,nosingle

[elex]

How's was your bachelor party?I can't believe you went to Vegas for that,who goes to Vegas to party?On that note,gives us the PG-13 details.

[Tantrum]

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

[NoKnees]

Well, just got back from Vegas and my butt hurts.

Okay, there is your quatable now I'll explain... First, I'll be more specific. My tailbone hurts.

Now, um, why? A drunk Elvis on crutches tripped on the way of a club at 4:30 in the morning. Normally a triping drunk Elvis on crutches wouldn't worry about such things as there are walls around to catch oneself against in most cases.. This wasn't most cases. Someone thought it'd be funny to have a hallway shooting off to one side. Imagine the suprise when his next view was of the ceiling from his back. According to nearby spectators (read, a best man watching from about an arms length away), it looked like Elvis was doing the Nestea plunge into a pool. Smiling all the way down... Luckily his bad rug was so big and crunchy it worked quite like a helmet and I don't think his head ever hit the floor. I like to give credit to having a strong thick neck like a lineman, but the result was the same.. Oh, yah, and I was that drunken Elvis..

More stories may or may not make it back from Vegas as the memories return or fade, whichever proves to be more appropriate for the given memory..

I got a couple camera phone shots from a friend that can be posted. I'll make sure to get a better one as these shots look about as drunk and blurry as I was when they were taken..

Quick basic recap of Sat night:

Friends arrive at hotel, we go to room to change for the evening. Out comes a yellow polyester shirt, red'ish leisure suite jacket that looked like it was jacked from the Hertz renta car man, a big'ass Elvis wig, gold shades, a few gold bead necklesses, and the image was complete. I was to be the King for the evening. Elvis lives...

Voodoo Lounge at the top of the Rio. (51st floor, great view of Vegas) Drink to have "The Witchdoctor" or something like that. After 7 Belvedere and Collins and 1 double of Level vodka in two hours, the "Witchdoctor" was not needed, but my "friends"(term used loosely) seemed to think that he needed to make a housecall.. From what I remember dinner was great. I took pictures with a couple bachelorettes and one older couple having an aniv. party or something.. They seemed way too excited for the photo op with the King.. Lit up a few cubans and enjoyed the view from the deck, then moved on to next stop..

Next was "Bikini's", the 21+ dance club at the Rio. The night was still young so the place was pretty empty. Oh, the theme here as one may guess was, Bikini's... A couple random clear pools of ankle to thigh deep water around the club provided a place for the local female talent to, um, splash around in the water in their bikinis.. Bartenders were cut guys and cute girls. Music was pumpling, but the crowd was late.. It looked to have potential though. Had a drink or two, then we bailed...

Next was "The Beach". This dance club is a short taxi ride from the strip. This is the place. Young crowd packing the place, lines out the door, limos all around, and music thumping. My man had the hookup and we snuck in the back door where were handed fresh drinks and balcony view of the club. The house specialty were what I think were "Mudslide" body shots served off the young limber hostesses, preceded by a large dose of whip-cream as an appertiser served off various parts of the body of the above mentioned hostess... For some reason my man and the rest of the possie thought this kind of drink was fit for a king. So they ordered me a double.. Another drink or two later, we were on our way to the next stop..

Last stop, Cheetah's (http://www.vegas.com/nightlife/stripclubs/cheetahs.html). Other kinda club.. Had some drinks, and some pizza.. Money ran low, we left at 4:30am.. See first story for my gracefull exit of said club...

Made the required stop at Denny's for some solids. Moons over My Hammy was the call.. Good call.....

Made it back to the hotel/casino. I was still way too hammered and now full as well to consider the bed... So, Elvis hit the blackjack table for few more hands 'til the sun came up. Decided the bed might not be a bad call as those first few rays of sunlight burned my eyes..

Photos: (bad quality photos I might add, or did I already mention that?)
Elvis and my buddy.. Yes, he is that tall.
"The Witchdoctor" drink at the Voodoo lounge..
Random tank of water at Bikinis..

[Tantrum]

Nice effect to give us the first-person feel.

Your experience would have killed a lesser man. That's about a year's worth of drinking for me and you did it in one night!:eek: My hat is off to you. Now you can settle into the life of a married man! Welcome to the club!:D

[elex]

Nice job,NoLiver. Glad to see you went to the good spots.Nice call on the Denny's, try the Dagwood next time.I'm proud of your drinking,can't type anymore tears welling up. My brother went to a bachelors party there & they all dressup like Elvis. My brother looked more like a gay-Elvis,thus Gelvis was born.
dennE's

[canuck]

Gelvis?

you're stretching ....

I like the idea of that bikini place and bodyshots are a nice bonus!!

sweet stag = swag?

[LazyL]

Well, just got back from Vegas and my butt hurts.

:eek: :p :D

Excellent adventure, and a tale well-told.

Your friends either really, really dig you, or really, really despise you, to put you through the wringer like that! I'm guessing the former. :)

There's something about your story that rings false, though. There's no way you drank that much without upchucking at some point.

:o <<< apres-hurl face

And those photos capture the atmosphere nicely. When you've sobered up, let's see some more.

[elex]

Canuck,I think I'm going to be at Whistler/Blackcloud on June 12/13.Kind of a quick trip. Seeing if your around.

[canuck]

What, do you want to go golfing?

I am around, actually hitting Whistler this coming weekend, but could blast up for the day on the 12th, and stretch the legs on the Volvo (ha ha ha)..


you filming or what?

[NoKnees]

Thanks.. It was truly an adventure...

If had showed up in Vegas Saturday and tried to pull off that much drinking, I truly would have been fertilizaing a plastic flower garden somewhere in a casino. My best man and I had the forethought to show up on Thursday night to start training early for the main event. Gambled and drank 'til 3 or 4am both Thurs and Friday, slept 'til 11am. Rinse, repeat...

Three rules to partying like Elvis:

1. Eat well: High carb and protein before, fried/greacy after.
2. Rehydrate well: Drink your water at dinner, and every chance you get.
3. And finally, always call your shots. Good vodka made all the difference. I'd like to thank Belvedere for my survival, with a small props out to Absolute for their topshelf offering, "Level". And actually I did have two collins with Grey Goose, as I had just finished off their Belvedere bottle. It's okay though, they are both from Poland and the same bottler or importer at least...

I only had 3 drinks of unknown origin on Sat night.. Two whimpy little mudslides and the one shot that took me to the brink of hurling. One unwise hit off the house tequila bottle at The Beach.. Once I got that down, I was in good shape. It was enough to remind the drunk Elvis to stick to his gameplan.. Close call..

And for the record, I stopped getting the spins by around 4pm on Sunday, 10 hours after my last drink. I wasn't that tired, but I had the nice shaky/toxic feeling most of the day. No heavy machinery for me. It wasn't until that night after a big Indian dinner that I finally felt better. Go figure...

Oh, and Friday night we did a little recon trip to another establishment called the Spearmint Rhino. Thumbs up. On par if not better than Cheetahs..

And yah, I'm still waiting for a copy of the rest of the photos.. I know there are a couple better ones of the late great Elvis in there...

[elex]

My friend is turning 21,she's likes Whistler for some reason.Kiddin,can't wait. No filming,but there is a little business involved.I'll probably ride one day & drink the rest. Bring the nanny if you show up.

[canuck]

well, keep me posted, might do

[Snow Nymph]

Funny story! Glad you explained why your butt hurt!