Coldcat
07-09-2005, 12:54 PM
Hey boarder buddies, how are ya all?
I just got my summer handed back to me. Last time I posted I was in the middle of house shizzle, moms cancer shizzle, and my own fresh bad news shizzle. Well, things got a bit out of hand. I had a small opration, and after that was done, the doc called with the results. You know (actually I hope you don't know), that kinda call: "Well, ma'am, the results are a bit worse then we feared, I don't want to tell such things on the phone, so I'd like to schedule an appointment this afternoon at the hospital so I can explain whats up. It can be treated by an operation, we think, but please come to my office this afternoon"
So I know now what it's like to be dazed all day. To not care wether you want to drink or eat.To buckle up.
I had a tumor back in there (in there, yes) that had already grown beyond the cervix. They proposed a full Wertheim surgery: the whole shindig was going out. Womb, tissue the womb is suspended in, and all the lymph nodes surrounding it, in the loins. Once they got my womb and its accesories on a steelplate, they can cut it up and see how far it spread, wether Ill need further treatment, chemo or radiation or both.
I was freaked about them taking all those lymph nodes out more even then the cancer itself (Somehow I knew, or convinced myself, or both, that this ***** was not going to kill me. Make my path through life hard, maybe, but NOT kill me!) because I know one can get seious circulation troubles when there are lymph nodes missing. The folder they gave me about cervix carcinome andlymph oedema werenot pretty: No heavy sports, and be careful with extreme heat and extreme cold. F%$#K! F%$#K! F%$#K! F%$#K! Does that mean no more snowboarding?? Does that mean another side job? Does that mean painting sitting instead of standing up as I normally do?
Besides that, there werethe consequences of the operation; a lot of nerves run in that area, and they cant promise not to sever one. Women have known to become unable to hold their pee up, or not crave sex anymore, becuase vital nerves that regulate all that, got severed. What the F will happen to my body?
They told me the specialized hospital in Leiden did the operation in a new way: they work around the nerves as best they can, and have gained some valuable experience in that. So I went there, and had the operation the 23d of june.
I can tell you now that methadon gives one some crazy **** ass dreams! Wow! Not to mention making me nauseous for three full days. It was monday evening when I first succeeded in keeping some light food down instead of spewing it against the wall. (I apologize to the nurses...) and after that, I recuperated fast. The doctors did an excellent job. There is an area in my left upper thigh that feels numb, but lately that has been growing less. They left the ovaries in, so I wontbe going through menopause. As far as I have checked, everything is working and still wired up. I can at least feel everything. I can hold my pee up and feel when I have to go. They told me all lymph nodes looked so good when they opened me up, they didnt take the surface nodes out the groin, just the deep ones that line the womb itself. So I might snowboard after all.
The results on the tissues came in ten days later. I AM CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!
They got the bugger! He had JUST begun to invade the tiniest veins around the cervix, but they didnt find a single cancerous cell anywhere else. I dont need further treatment. No chemo, no radiation! Hello summer!!!
The house is put on hold (I wont get a mortgage before I am clear for five years) and Ill need another month to get my strength back but I am allowed to go back among the living, among the unworrying, back to planning and living.
Whew. Life can get so f^%$ing crazy. All this happened in a month, a month and a half at most. It seemed like a century.
I just got my summer handed back to me. Last time I posted I was in the middle of house shizzle, moms cancer shizzle, and my own fresh bad news shizzle. Well, things got a bit out of hand. I had a small opration, and after that was done, the doc called with the results. You know (actually I hope you don't know), that kinda call: "Well, ma'am, the results are a bit worse then we feared, I don't want to tell such things on the phone, so I'd like to schedule an appointment this afternoon at the hospital so I can explain whats up. It can be treated by an operation, we think, but please come to my office this afternoon"
So I know now what it's like to be dazed all day. To not care wether you want to drink or eat.To buckle up.
I had a tumor back in there (in there, yes) that had already grown beyond the cervix. They proposed a full Wertheim surgery: the whole shindig was going out. Womb, tissue the womb is suspended in, and all the lymph nodes surrounding it, in the loins. Once they got my womb and its accesories on a steelplate, they can cut it up and see how far it spread, wether Ill need further treatment, chemo or radiation or both.
I was freaked about them taking all those lymph nodes out more even then the cancer itself (Somehow I knew, or convinced myself, or both, that this ***** was not going to kill me. Make my path through life hard, maybe, but NOT kill me!) because I know one can get seious circulation troubles when there are lymph nodes missing. The folder they gave me about cervix carcinome andlymph oedema werenot pretty: No heavy sports, and be careful with extreme heat and extreme cold. F%$#K! F%$#K! F%$#K! F%$#K! Does that mean no more snowboarding?? Does that mean another side job? Does that mean painting sitting instead of standing up as I normally do?
Besides that, there werethe consequences of the operation; a lot of nerves run in that area, and they cant promise not to sever one. Women have known to become unable to hold their pee up, or not crave sex anymore, becuase vital nerves that regulate all that, got severed. What the F will happen to my body?
They told me the specialized hospital in Leiden did the operation in a new way: they work around the nerves as best they can, and have gained some valuable experience in that. So I went there, and had the operation the 23d of june.
I can tell you now that methadon gives one some crazy **** ass dreams! Wow! Not to mention making me nauseous for three full days. It was monday evening when I first succeeded in keeping some light food down instead of spewing it against the wall. (I apologize to the nurses...) and after that, I recuperated fast. The doctors did an excellent job. There is an area in my left upper thigh that feels numb, but lately that has been growing less. They left the ovaries in, so I wontbe going through menopause. As far as I have checked, everything is working and still wired up. I can at least feel everything. I can hold my pee up and feel when I have to go. They told me all lymph nodes looked so good when they opened me up, they didnt take the surface nodes out the groin, just the deep ones that line the womb itself. So I might snowboard after all.
The results on the tissues came in ten days later. I AM CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!
They got the bugger! He had JUST begun to invade the tiniest veins around the cervix, but they didnt find a single cancerous cell anywhere else. I dont need further treatment. No chemo, no radiation! Hello summer!!!
The house is put on hold (I wont get a mortgage before I am clear for five years) and Ill need another month to get my strength back but I am allowed to go back among the living, among the unworrying, back to planning and living.
Whew. Life can get so f^%$ing crazy. All this happened in a month, a month and a half at most. It seemed like a century.